who are you really mad at?

June 1, 2012

I was going to cook dinner but got mad at my husband, changed my mind and thought, “ How about some take-out?”  

“Cook dinner anyway,” the voice inside me said.  I knew it wasn’t right to delete the cooking idea just because I was angry. 

Ok, I’ll cook anyway.  It’s not right to let my feelings lead me.

And the truth is, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not really angry with The Husband.  He did nothing wrong.  I’m angry with myself.  Earlier I chickened out of talking to someone about something important, and I’m taking it out on him.

I’m angry with myself for being a wimp.  I thought I was passed that and able to say what I need to say.  I guess I’m not.  It still comes up once in a while.  I’ll have to deal with that.  But for now I need to apologize to The Husband and cook dinner as planned. 

Well, dinner came out great.  I made baked honey mustard chicken, red potatoes and string beans with carrots.  I found the chicken recipe online.  It was quick and simple.  My type of recipe. 

If I stayed angry and followed my feelings we wouldn’t have enjoyed a great meal and our evening would have been soured. 

I’ve noticed when I’m most angry about something, and I stop and think about it, it’s almost always  myself I’m angry with.  Something I said, something I didn’t say.  Something I did, something I didn’t do. 

Has that ever happened to you?  Have you ever thought you were mad at someone but when you took the time to think it through, it's really yourself you're mad at?