June 28, 2013
It's Friday. This afternoon we're leaving to go camping for the weekend.
I didn't want to go. But on the inside when I was quiet and alone, I sensed God saying to my heart "go." And there was this peaceful sense.
But every time my husband brought up the subject and showed me the camp information, I got angry, anxious and resisted going. Maybe starting an argument or two over the subject will get him to change his mind.
"I don't want to go."
"I believe God wants us to go" he said.
I finally got over my anxiety, and I'm feeling good about it.
It's not like we'll be in a tent. Or cooking over a camp fire. Or using outdoor bathrooms (at least I hope not).
It's a camp ground where there are cabins. Prepared meals. Showers. And bunk beds with thin hard mattresses...okay, I better stop while I'm ahead. I'm going to enjoy it and have fun.
But really, my resistance to going wasn't just about camping. Lately, I've been somewhat of a recluse. I'm a stay at home mom. I have a business, but it's home-based. I see people at church, but usually just the back of their heads except for the brief interlude of greeting one another when asked by the worship leader. And I see and talk to other parents when taking and picking up my son from pre-school. But all of this interaction is brief. Friendships have been reduced to texts for the most part. Not because of me, but because it's what our world has become and we just follow along. Sad, I know. I've been getting comfortable in my bubble of a world. Something, when I first rededicated my life to Christ ions of years ago, I didn't want to do. I wanted to live my life reaching out towards others.
But we can't always control how life goes. We go through different stages, and those stages are a part of our development. After leaving a bad church experience several years ago, I went through one of those stages which turned out to be longer than I thought.
But that's okay. Paul had to be pulled away for a bit while God was transforming him. Abraham was pulled away when called to leave his family. And there was Joseph, who was pulled away, not by choice, but it was God's way of doing the work He needed to do in him to fulfill the dream God gave him.
In those pulled away experiences, we can get comfortable, and want to stay there when it's time to move into the next stage.
I know my pulled away experience is nearly over, and I'm getting back out there. Reaching outward. This camping trip is a part of that. It's a chance to get to know some new people. Share what God is doing in me. A time for me and Scot to spend time together while our son has fun doing the kid activities.
This won't be my first camping experience. Several years ago, when I was single, I was a camp counselor at our kids church camp. Scot was too. It was a great experience, especially seeing the kids have such a great time.
Our son will enjoy it, and it will be great knowing that. My husband and I made an agreement years ago. We realized that one of us may not want to always do something the other wants to do. And if it's not a big deal, don't push the issue. But if it really means a lot, join the other spouse because of how much it means to him.
And when I think about it, it's great that my husband wants me to go.
So, we're going camping.
Enjoy your weekend whatever it is you're doing.