I’m Lisa and I'm an Imperfect Christian Woman. I'm also an Imperfect Christian Wife and Imperfect Christian Mom. And I’m a Spiritual Growth Enthusiast which means I’m passionate about spiritual growth through Christ and helping women get in alignment with God’s purpose and calling.
Early in my journey with Christ…
…I used to think I was going to become a Perfect Christian Woman, like the leaders I'd see up front at church.
There was one leader in particular whose voice was soft like butter. Every time she went up to pray or give announcements, I practically saw a halo above her head and heard angelic voices in the background. To me, she was the epitome of a Perfect Christian Woman.
It wasn't so much that I wanted to be like her, but I wanted to grow spiritually and become all God wanted me to be...and to me that was Perfection. I believed I was supposed to get to a point where I was near perfect, like the many church leaders who seemed so perfect. They never spoke of struggles they had or mistakes they made so surely they’d attained a level of perfection, and surely God wanted that for me too.
Things were going well. I had an intimate relationship with Jesus. I was growing spiritually. I was volunteering in church ministries. I was on my way to becoming a Perfect Christian Woman. And, by the time I met my husband I was one (angelic voices go here…AHHHH).
But, it's pretty easy to look perfect when you're single and living alone. You wake up with yourself, and go to bed with yourself. You spend most of your quality time with yourself (because when you're an introvert like me, you love spending time alone). And it's easy to be perfect when you're in public and others are watching.
But being married showed me I had a long way to go before I was a Perfect Christian Woman. (I always say, if you really want to know what you’re made of, get married…ha!)
How were those church leaders able to be so perfect? They had the same Holy Spirit I had...what was wrong with me?
I got caught in a cycle of focusing more on what was wrong with me than seeing my strengths. I thought I was going to attain this level of perfection that was presented to me on a stage at church each week so that I too could become a Perfect Christian Woman.
But it was like a game of Whac-A-Mole...every time I thought I had a breakthrough and fixed that thing...another would pop up...then the same thing I thought I had under control would pop up again. But at least a game of Whac-A-Mole is fun. This was exasperating.
And I felt like a hypocrite. At home I was one way. At church and in public another. I wore the perfect image mask in public and took it off at home.
THEN SOMETHING REALLY CRAZY HAPPENED!
My husband quit his teaching job and took a job at a church, as a pastor, making me a pastor's wife.
Think about that...a pastor's wife! I'm already failing miserably at being perfect and now God throws me into a fishbowl, or a fire (depending how you look at it) or maybe both, if that's possible.
How crazy was that?! Well, crazy to me, but not to God.
With my husband on staff at our new church, I got to see beyond the stage. I saw that the perfect leaders weren’t perfect. I saw their real personas and found that many were one way on the stage and another off the stage. They appeared perfect from the stage, but off stage they were the complete opposite.
But God was about to do a work in me through those perfect pastors and leaders.
He used them as a mirror for me to see myself. They wore the perfect mask. So did I. They were one way in public or on stage and another off stage. So was I. They were stuck in a Perfect Image Trap and so was I, along with so many other believers in the church.
I realized the leaders I thought were perfect were struggling with the same thing I had been struggling with--believing they were supposed to be perfect.
My three year journey as a pastor's wife brought me face to face with what I call the Perfect Image Trap. The Perfect Image Trap is when you believe you're to look like you have it all together, all the time. You know, it's the mask we wear. It’s all about the image, what we look like to others.
I think so many believers are struggling with believing they're to appear perfect (believing that appearing perfect = godliness) and they are blocking the grace, abundance and freedom Christ offers.
Once I went through the journey of embracing my imperfect self, I began to experience God's grace, abundance and freedom everyday which I wasn't experiencing before.
We have access to everything Christ offers, but we have to be sure we aren't saying "no thank you" to the grace, abundance and freedom he offers by being stuck in a Perfect Image Trap.
I’m looking for women who want to live in alignment with God's purpose and calling .
It was the last day of the Bible study before summer break. One woman shared she didn’t think she’d be back in the Fall because she felt God was wanting her to do something else but she didn’t know what. All the women in our group spoke up and urged her to come back…”oh you’ve been coming fifteen years, why would you leave?”
I was the only one who encouraged her not to come back. I was excited for her knowing it was God moving her onward, on the specific path he had for her. I’m always excited about the new things God wants to do in us and in our lives.
The following year I ran into her, and in our short conversation she shared that she'd gone back to the same Bible study, but before our brief chat ended she let out a sigh and said, “I don’t know that I’m going back though because I really believe God wants to do something else with me.” Those were the same words she spoke the year before.
Surely I believed God wanted to do something else with her and in her, but was she going to take the next step?
Has this ever happened to you? You believe God's calling you to something different but you don't know what, so you stay right where you are.
You’re not the only one. This happens to many believers. But if you keep waiting and waiting you eventually forget all about it and end up on a treadmill of activity but not the purpose and calling God specifically has for you.
Ephesians 2:10 says as God’s masterpiece, he has assigned specific things for you to do in this world.
The truth is God has so much more for you. He wants to do more in you and wants to use you in his amazing work in this world using the gifts he’s given you.