One Year Blogging Anniversary

June 5, 2013


I've been blogging now for one year!  I owe myself a celebration.

I'm so proud of myself.  Yes, proud.   (Using the word "proud" invokes a twinge of uneasiness within me because as you and I know, Christians aren't to be prideful and we're constantly reminded of that, but I'm not being prideful in that kind of way.  I guess I'm more thankful, but proud too because I've come from a past of not completing what I start.  So, yes, I am proud of having followed through on this blog for one year.) 

In honor of my first year, I did a little bit of thinking about my blog:   

My first blog post was May 23, 2012 where I talked about taking off my perfect mask and being the Imperfect Christian Woman God has called me to be. 

I still struggle with allowing my real Imperfect self to shine through.  That's why sometimes you'll see weeks go by with no blog posts.  I'll write blog posts that are real and authentic, revealing my imperfect self or something maybe a little controversial, but I end up not posting them.  Because sometimes being openly imperfect is like wearing no clothing in front of other people. 

Another thing:  In previous posts, I've referred to my husband as  "The Husband."  I did that because I noticed a few other bloggers used an anonymous name for their spouses.  But reviewing my past posts, The Husband sounds so impersonal.

I'll no longer refer to my husband as The Husband.  I will now refer to him as my husband or Scot because that is his real name, and it sounds so much better than The Husband. 

Lastly, I will post more regularly, more consistently.

Those were just a few things that came to mind when I briefly thought about my first year of blogging.  

If you've been thinking about starting a blog, I encourage you to step out and do it. Chances are you've been giving it some thought for a while, so go for it!



Bloggers Block

September 18, 2012

You’ve heard of writer’s block.  Well I’ve been experiencing Blogger’s Block.  It’s not writer’s block because I have written many blog posts, only I haven’t been posting them.  They’re still sitting in a Microsoft Word document.    

At first I wasn’t sure what was holding me back.  I went through rhetorical thoughts and questions like:  I don’t know what to blog about.  What’s my blog’s focus?  Is this blog post good enough?  And then I attempted to stop thinking about the blog altogether.  But seeing my husband passionate about starting his blog, I started thinking about it again and realized only a couple of days ago that my Bloggers Block really has nothing to do with the questions I was asking myself. 

The truth is:  I’m self conscious.

After posting a few blogs,  I suddenly became self conscious about who could be reading my posts.   It’s not the people I don’t know that make me self conscious, but the people that know me.    Or at least who know me to the degree that I have allowed them to, and that includes family.   

I’ve always been a private person so it makes sense that I would experience self conscious thoughts.  A few weeks ago I had a thought way in the back of my mind (it never became a fully surfaced thought but it was there lurking behind other thoughts) about a certain person reading my blog. (I have no idea if this person has even seen my blog, but that “what if” thought came into my mind.)  That person, somewhat of a critic, has remained in my head ever since.  And that’s what’s been holding me back. 

I have no choice but to overcome this self conscious thinking.  I didn’t start this blog to not follow through on it.  And following through is a rule I’ve adopted a few years back because I used to be such a non-follow through person.   I’d start things with good intention but not finish.

So yesterday after having a talk with God about my blog (yes, I talked to God about my blog), I sensed Him saying:

      “You started the blog because I asked you to step out.   Stop hiding.  You have
       something to say.  Say it.  Be free to write out loud.  I am pleased.  Don’t worry
       about anyone else.”

And that’s when I was jolted back on the right track.  Remembering why I'm doing this in the first place. 

And really, what is a private person?  It’s someone who’s hiding.   And when I say it that way, that I’m hiding, it doesn’t sound as chic as “I’m a private person.”   Is hiding what God wants?  When we hide, we hide our value and the gifts that God has given us which were given to us to share with other people. 

Right now I’m reminded of the children’s song, This Little Light of Mine: 
                      This Little Light of Mine, I’m gonna let it shine
                      This Little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine
                      …hide it under a bushel…NO WAY (as my son sings it),
                      I’m gonna to let it shine….

My son and I sing that almost every night together after he’s tucked into bed.  It’s not just a children’s song.  It’s a reminder that God is calling us all to remove ourselves from the bushel and let our lights so shine.